My Story

One of the most interesting things about a person is their story. What got you to the place that you’re in? How did you become the soul you are today? Like many others I have always been fascinated with storytelling, the lost art of verbal enchantment and artistry. Well it is time to start my story, my weaving in the tapestry of life. This is how I began and started my journey as Laila: the soul, healer, nurse, woman, friend, all the in-betweens.

All my life I remember feeling different. As though, the rest of the world was viewing life through a different lens and senses. The world always seemed scary to me, vast and filled with unknown people. I was and am an empath, so I feel energy greatly. This gift will turn out to be my biggest strength, after now learning how to recognize and control energies. Until then, I felt controlled by everyone else in the world, seen and unseen. My family is Christian and God was in our childhood home, but there were a lot of scary times. My mother, a single mom, struggled to work and take care of three kids. My father, struggling with addiction was unable to be present as a stable figure, and with that his identity as my father, was of fear and abandonment.

I was shy and struggled making connections with others out of extreme fear of rejection. My sense of identity was never dreamed of, never watered and cared for. Soon I found myself more like a dandelion: that’s sprayed and weeded for not showing up like the rest of the flowers. I realized soon to be accepted I must change myself to fit in. I felt that I must look a certain way, have certain friends, not speak up or back, and retreat into silent surrender. While I began to fool others, inside I was dying. The world was crashing around me always, I felt with suffocated with the idea of this being life. That this was our roles and this is the rule book of how to play it.

During this time, I also remember sensing and seeing energy. I could ‘feel’ someone at my bedside almost every night, feeling like I was being watched. Shadows and movements walking around my room, made me terrified of what I was going to see. The advice I received was, “The Bible says, we never walk this earth again, so anything you may see is not from God and you need to pray.” So, in my child mind, I understood that Satan was tricking me and regardless of praying, the Devil was showing up every night. So, que in complete and utter terror, that has plagued my life since I was about six years old, which I kept to myself. Because, I didn’t want to burden others. This fear continued till about two to three years ago, till the now me at 34 years old, I have a completely different perspective than that of little Laila. The girl who was terrified of everything that my mental mind couldn’t explain. This is how every good story starts, the damsel in distress. The girl who didn’t know her own power. The star, not remembering who she is, but first there has to be rock bottom…

During this time, I’ve had three children. The first ,my son, being born when I was 18. During this time, my life twisted out of control. I no longer could control the image I created or my emotions. I began separating myself, leaving my body most of the time. Walking through life, like a zombie: angry, hurt, confused, depressed, anxious, out of control, and wanting to leave. Even through this I still kept going, started nursing school and months away from graduating. I had my first spiritual awakening.

I had decided I couldn’t live anymore. I was hurting everyone in my life: my husband and two kids at this point. I was crying alone on the bed ( a daily occurrence at this point) and then I felt the warmth of someone holding my hand. Thinking it was my husband comforting me, I opened my eyes and saw my grandmother standing there. She had passed when I was young, of cancer. She was beautiful, glowing, youthful, healthy, and loving. She wore a white gown that belled out before it reached her wrists. Telepathically she said, “Everything will be ok now”. Peace, unlike anything I have experienced before, came over me. I realized at that moment, that my life was about to change.

Things did change, the emotional ups and down settled down. Far from fixed, I continued to seek for answers or comfort, about our meaning of existence; with books, movies, television shows, or anything I could find. During this time, I graduated with my RN license in 2013 and began working in adult critical care units. I felt accomplished and the joy of helping others heal gave me great joy, and still does. During these years, I grew more into myself as a person and developed a sense of safety and security in my position in the world. The feelings of spirit, never left, but became apart of myself I hid from others. Until about three years ago.

Spirit continued to call to me, the feelings that what makes me so afraid, was actually how I was supposed to be helping in the world. I started reading books, listening to podcasts, and looking up blogs on all things spiritual. The more I read and learned, the more I related to all the other stories. How these wonderfully connected and spiritual: healers, mediums, psychics, and channeler’s started out felt like it was a spin off of my story. I felt like I found a familiar tune, I never knew had been wrote, but had been listening to my whole life. Their support and advice was that of empowerment and love. I began to see my fears as misunderstood stories, I had authored and illustrated myself.

I had my first intuitive/ mediumship reading and was encouraged by my higherself and spirit guides to try a metaphysical class. I started reading books and meditating regularly, during that time I started to hear, feel, and see spirit more clearly. Nighttime became like a show every night, I was lulled and comforted with sparkles, sparks of lights, and swirling orbs of blues, purples, white, and orange. I knew this was energy: my guides, angels, higherself, and other loving energies who were showing up and encouraging me every night. I joined my first intuitive class in February of 2020 and everything took off from there. I was able to read psychic energy, mediumship, and channeling quite naturally. I felt like I had found home and these practices felt natural. I practiced in mediumship circles weekly and did free readings on anyone who would let me practice. I did my first Reiki session in August of that year and was guided that I meant to be a healer and channel Reiki energy. Reiki was something I had been interested in for a year or two before I did my first session, I knew somehow that once I started my life would be changing drastically.

By listening to the call of spirit, discernment, and my own intuition I am now a Reiki Master, Akashic reader, intuitive channel, and medium. I continue to learn and grow every single day and that will never stop! I found out along the way why I didn’t grow like the other flowers. Why I felt so out of place on Earth. Because, my purpose was never to blend in or follow the crowd, and when I did my soul felt lost. I believe, that none of us are meant just to follow, but to be creators of our own beauty through surrender and trust. I am blown away everyday how Spirit is always working for us, always supporting our journeys. My experiences in life have shaped me into the soul I am today. I am able to be a more attuned healer, mentor, intuitive, lover, friend, container, and presence on this Earth because of these experiences. That is why this website has been started: to share my story, give advice, offer healings, intuitive readings, be a friend, make connections, and hopefully leave you feeling more connected to the beautiful light you are as well.

With Love

Laila